I Think I Appreciate Christmas More This Year

I never have been an overly anxious person.  I don't tend to worry about the future because I don't like to borrow trouble.  I take life a day at a time and attack problems as they come.  Especially since MS became a factor in my life - I just don't have the energy to waste on worrying about things that may never happen.   

But also as a result of MS, I get easily distracted and that is very frustrating.   I get irritated more quickly when I am interrupted and it makes me more anxious when someone steps in to get me to take a break because I know how much longer it takes me to do things now than it used to and I'm afraid I will either forget to do something or will run out of time to accomplish my list if I stop to take a break.  It has been a real challenge for me to balance accomplishing my task list and showing my family grace when they interrupt me - even when it's for my own good.

Speaking of worry and stress... last Christmas season was rough!  I have a list of projects and activities every year that I have always done and I like to do to make the season special.   I do lots of cookie baking, I buy all the Christmas gifts for everyone in our family and do all the wrapping too.  The kids like to go to Snowflake Lane at Bellevue Square every year and the last few years we have also taken in the Evergreen Lights in Bothell.  I decorate inside,  my husband puts lights up on the outside and we get and decorate a live Christmas tree every year.  I get advent calendars for the kids and I also buy ornaments that I put pictures of the kids in and send to some family and friends with a Christmas card and letter.  I put together calendars with family pictures from each month of the previous year and have them printed by Shutterfly and give them as gifts to the family.   We have these traditions that I have felt are important for one reason or another.  I put a lot of pressure on myself to do it all each year and each year it gets a little harder. 

This year I thought I would be more stressed than ever because I have to get everything done by the 13th -  long before Christmas - for reasons I will share AFTER Christmas is over.  But what the Lord has shown me is that I CAN'T get it ALL done.   So, choices have to be made.  Do we NEED Christmas lights up on the house?  Nope!  Do we NEED 5 or 6 kinds of Christmas cookies AND pumpkin pie?  NOPE!  There are several "traditions" that we are going without this year and I am finding that it's really OKAY!  Christmas will come on time and we are still enjoying the holiday season.  In fact, I am personally enjoying this season MORE than last year.  Getting an early start and skipping some activities has helped me to re-focus my priorities.   I have spent more time dwelling on the reason we celebrate Christmas and reminding myself that what I think is important is actually all optional.   In the end, after all, would it take anything away from the miracle of Christ's birth if I don't get the gifts all wrapped until Christmas Eve or don't have stocking stuffers this year or if we don't go see Snowflake Lane this year?  NO!  In fact, those things are all distractions - not a single one of our fun traditions points to the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ  (except maybe Evergreen Lights and we also read the Christmas Story in the Gospel of Luke before opening gifts each year). 

I'm generally too busy at this time of year to REALLY think about Jesus and how truly amazing it is that He left His position in heaven to become a lowly human being so He could identify with and save ME!  In my attempts to make Christmas special each year, I often miss the whole point of Christmas!  I KNOW we are celebrating the birth of Jesus but I love giving gifts and I love baking and it's so fun to see the lights and Christmas events in our area.  I get caught up in the music and the decorations and I don't give Jesus enough of my time and energy.   

This year feels different.   Because I don't have the time or energy to get all the usual Christmas activities done, I am able to take a more measured and thoughtful approach to Christmas this year.  It's healthy, I think, to have this forced upon me.  

I am appreciating Jesus and Christmas more than ever this year and I think it's time to make some new traditions in our family at this time of year that point more of our attention to Jesus.