Matthew 18:2-3 - Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.
Our son was born with a unique set of traits that hinder him from maturing at the same rate as his peers. Yesterday was his 13th birthday and his list of desired birthday gifts included things like Lego sets, fidget toys and animated movies. He asked for some practical things like shirts and gift cards as well so he is trending in the right direction. But in general, his list this year looked very similar to the list he had last year.
Our son likes to spend time on his iPad. He is still using the first iPad we ever bought for him. It has 32G of memory that was long ago maxed out making software updates a challenge and it won’t accept the most recent upgrade of Safari because it’s just too old. It lags when playing online games with his sister and it needs to be replaced. But he didn’t ask for one for his birthday. We decided to buy him a new iPad and surprise him with it. We loaded it with all the games (saving all his progress) and applications he has on his old iPad - we even put the same pictures he was using as wallpaper and on his lock screen. It was the last gift he opened at his party on Saturday. We expected him to be so excited! This was a newer and much more powerful iPad with a 256G capacity! But as he opened his gift he looked sad and looked up at us and said “I just don’t know if I’m ready to give up my old iPad.” Wow! The iPad is still sitting in the box, waiting for our son to decide whether he wants to keep it or not - he hasn’t even turned it on to give it a try. And while it was disappointing that he didn’t show the excitement in receiving this expensive gift, I am proud of him for being honest about his feelings and not just acting excited to make us happy. We are concerned about his difficulties with forming such strong emotional attachments to things snd we are working on it. But he showed integrity and honesty that is often lacking in kids today and is refreshing in a teenager.
We often try to encourage our son to grow beyond toys and animated movies. We talk to him about trying to fit in better with his peers. But lately I have been watching our son and finding myself wondering WHY we want him to watch more mature movies, etc. There are a lot of great animated movies that are fun, innocent, wholesome and that appeal to all ages. Why do we want to fill the minds of our children with even hints of the sinful world around us? Our son shows a desire to maintain his innocence and is more careful about what he watches than most people. In many ways, it is admirable to hang on to that innocence for as long as possible.
I think our son’s response to the new iPad was a lesson in being content with what we have. It shocked us all because we all know how much he values time on a screen. We also are aware that our son is very sentimental and doesn’t like to let go of old toys, etc. But while he doesn’t like to let go of the old, he is usually excited about the new - gifts, experiences, food, etc.
In some ways, our son has learned the value of being content with what you have and rarely asks for more. A typical 13 year old would be asking for a phone. Not our son, he has never once asked for a phone. He trusts our judgment in deciding when it is the right time for him to have a phone.
I am trying to step back and look at our son in a different way than I have in the past. He doesn’t develop strong emotional connections with people easily but he is friendly and kind to absolutely everyone. He waits and watches to see how a person behaves and treats him over time before he decides to count them as a real friend. He guards his heart.
We were forced to take our son out of the Christian school he attended for 5 years and put him back into the public school system because of some of his unique learning needs that the private school was unable to help him with. It has been an interesting journey. There have been blessings along the way but one of the hard things is all the foul language our son is exposed to just in daily conversation between kids at his school. It’s something he brought up the other night. But he hasn’t picked up the bad language and told me that he is ignoring it. And when he heard a lesson in history trying to claim a different story about Christopher Columbus than the one he heard at the Christian school, he asked me about it and rejected the revisionist history lesson. He is guarding his mind.
So, while we DO want our son to mature and take on more responsibilities and to learn to take an interest in learning how to do more, do we really want him to allow more of the world in to his heart and mind? I don’t think so! We want him to know enough to keep himself safe. But if he never wants to watch anything more “mature” than Despicable Me or Garfield movies, what is the harm to him? And if he is careful about who he calls a friend, he is less likely to be influenced into making poor choices.
This is a long way of saying that I think WE should be more like our son. More innocent, more honest, more content, more careful about who we trust and what we watch.
Another thing about our son to be admired is his solid, unshakable faith in God and his willingness to share that faith with others.
Our son is himself wherever he goes. He is confident and has a healthy sense of self esteem and he is not influenced by the world around him. There are things he needs to work on as he grows older. But when I really think about it, there are things about him that are qualities to be admired and that so many of us strive for years to achieve and never quite grasp. We all should try to be more childlike, less cynical, more protective of our hearts and minds and this is ultimately what leads us to Christ!
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