Remember the Grieving

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 - Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

There are a number of grieving people in my circle. People who have had spouses or other loved ones pass away - some more recently than others. But regardless of the length of time a loved one had been gone, people will always be in need of lovingkindness. We so often neglect to continue comforting each other months or years after we have experienced a loss.

My mom is one of those grieving for a spouse. Although my dad passed away nearly 7 years ago now, I know she still feels acutely lonely at times. She keeps that to herself for the most part so until I check in with her, I am not necessarily aware of her need for fellowship. But it IS a need. Without it, she will be more vulnerable to spiritual attack.

Last week, a widower in our church who lost his wife in May to pancreatic cancer sent me an email. He has been doing so much better in recent months and has been adjusting to the massive changes in his world surprisingly well. But he misses the fellowship with me and others when things weren’t going as well. And this morning he told me that he misses having someone there to physically touch him. In the wake of his wife’s passing, I was regularly sending letters to him, emailing him and talking to him for extensive periods of time at church - frequently hugging him and putting a hand on his shoulder. And I am not the only one who provided this level of comfort. But school started in September and then October hit and my busy children have had my brain on overload and I stopped checking in on him mid-week. How quickly everyone moved on to the next crisis and left this grieving soul behind to struggle on his own. I am guilty of neglect!

My husband still grieves for his parents. His dad passed away more than 15 years ago and his mom passed away 9 years ago. He is in need of regular and ongoing comfort.

Through all of this I am realizing the need for us to check in REGULARLY with people who have lost close loved ones - especially spouses. Most of them will never let on how much they need a loving squeeze or a check-in text or email. But they DO need it!

So, while we comfort our friends and families who have experienced more recent losses, let’s remember not to neglect those who have been experiencing more long-term losses.