The Blessing of Multiple Sclerosis: Life 360

When I was growing up, we had a rotary dial phone plugged into our wall. We didn’t have an answering machine. We had 1 TV and there was no remote control. We had 4 or 5 TV stations we could choose from and we had a TV Guide that came in the mail each week to tell us what programs were scheduled to come on which day and at what time.

We had a record player that I was allowed to play records on and a record player that I was not allowed to touch. This was pretty much the extent of the technology I grew up with. We didn’t even have a microwave until I was in high school.

When I was little, I was only allowed to play unsupervised in our backyard. It was fully fenced and the gates were locked so my sister and I were free to safely play and explore. I would look out into the neighborhood and see the “big kids” playing and riding bikes and I REALLY wanted to go out there and play with them but my parents wouldn’t allow it. I even tried to climb the fence but I only succeeded in hurting myself. My parents’ “security system “ did its’ job and kept me safe until I was old enough to play out front in the cul-de-sac.

We lived in a neighborhood on a dead end road so there wasn’t a lot of traffic during the day when people were at work. In early grade school my sister and I were finally allowed to take our Big Wheels and ride around our cul-de-sac as long as our mother could see us from the window of our house. We were given instructions about staying out of the street when vehicles came into the neighborhood. The garbage man used to tease us and pretend he was going to run over us. 🤣. But we were kept safe if we followed the rules imparted to us.

We made friends with our neighbors and were allowed to play in their yards as we got older. Once we learned how to ride bikes confidently, we were allowed to ride them out of the neighborhood, sometimes with a sack lunch, and go (unsupervised) as far away as the elementary school up the street. I got my first watch in 3rd grade. My Mom would tell me what time to be home and then I was free to go anywhere within a reasonable distance from my house (as long as my younger sister was with me) and she trusted me to return home on time.

It was a more innocent time. A time when we could trick-or-treat at every house in every neighborhood up and down the street and not worry about much in the way of danger. My Dad would inspect our candy for punctures or razor blades but he never found anything dangerous.

As I entered my teen years, my parents allowed me to walk with my neighborhood friends to the nearby bowling alley and 7-11. I also started babysitting and the people would pick me up before I could drive and take me home afterwards. I would tell my parents what time I’d be home and they wouldn’t hear from me again until I walked back in the front door. No cell phones. In fact, we got our first cordless phone just before I left for college and I didn’t have my first cell phone until I was in my mid-20’s. We got our first VCR when I was in 6th grade. Our first computer was an Apple MacIntosh 512k Enhanced that we got when I was in high school. No laptops. I had a word processor with a built in printer that I used while I was in college.

When I started driving, my parents had rules and I had to ask permission to go places but if I followed the rules (and I did), I could maintain my driving privileges. Again, there were no cell phones, no tracking software, just trust and accountability and a lot of prayer, I’m sure.😁

All that background to say that I am a product of my experiences. My husband and I are older parents so we have very different perspectives than a lot of the parents of our childrens’ peers. We have tried to keep a handle on the changing technology but at the same time we are trying to raise our kids in a similar way to the way WE were raised because we now realize that our parents were really good at being parents. They taught us how to take responsibility for ourselves, how to be independent and how to navigate life with an internal compass that doesn’t need constant supervision.

I have been hearing a lot about an App that you can buy called Life 360 that you install on your and your teen’s phones and, among other things, it allows you to track your child’s exact location at any given moment. I have been asked multiple times if we have installed it on our daughter’s phone and when I answer “no” I think they question our judgment as parents.

But our daughter didn’t have a cell phone until she turned 14 and she watched all the mistakes her friends made with their phones and the trouble they got in to with them. So, by the time she finally had a phone of her own, she had already set her own limits on phone usage that we agreed with. I will admit that it’s nice to be able to check in with her when she is at the mall or at a friend’s house so I know she is safe and honestly, the environment our children are growing up in is much more dangerous than ours was at this age.

Our daughter now has her driver’s license and we have set rules for her to follow. As long as she follows the rules, she will retain her driving privileges.

When she leaves the driveway, we don’t hear from her until she arrives at her destination and then she sends us a quick text to let us know she arrived safely. We don’t hear from her again until she texts us to let us know she is leaving and heading home. It’s important to let our children experience some independence before they are forced to go it on their own as adults.

Becoming an adult doesn’t happen all at once. We teach and train little by little until one day they are ready to step out on their own without support.

My husband travels for a living and I have MS and am responsible for two teenagers on my own while he is traveling. I do not have the time or the energy to micro manage the lives of my children and I need to be able to trust them to be responsible. Our daughter is such a responsible person and has given us no reason to distrust her. So, even though she is our first child and it’s sometimes hard to let her explore some independence, she has to be allowed some freedom so she can build experience and continue to grow and mature.

And more than that, if we are going to claim that we trust God with everything, that has to include trusting Him to watch over our children when we aren’t there with them.