Adjustments

I love my children! They are such gifts and they bring me so much joy!

There was a time when summer breaks were much more difficult- as the kids went through their “no” phases and sneaky phases and they were too young to help out around the house in any significant way I would be exhausted at the end of the summer and would be ready for school to start. The kids were constantly asking to do things and go places - parks were frequent destinations but so were mall play areas and often just fun outside in our own neighborhood jumping in puddles. All fun but also a lot of work for me- planning out destinations, meals, snacks, driving, keeping watch and playing with them as they explored new places, and the clean-up afterwards (especially after puddle jumping). I enjoyed every moment of it and watching the kids have fun together more than made up for the work associated with a given activity. But I was ready for them to go back to school when September rolled around.

Things are different now. The kids are older and capable of entertaining themselves when necessary. They can get their own snacks and, if I’m feeling weak and fatigued, they can fix family meals and clean up afterward too. My daughter has her driver’s license now so she can get herself to birthday parties and friend hangouts and I don’t need to be there to supervise because she has made good choices in selecting friends and is responsible. The kids have taken on most of the household chores between the two of them too and they are not only a huge help but they are fun to be around.

So when my daughter went back to school on Tuesday, I wasn’t ready. She packs her own lunches now and she drives herself to school and back. I am watching her develop into a responsible, independent young woman and it’s AWESOME! But also I am having to make adjustments in my habits and thinking and I’m having to let go little by little.

Change can be sort of unsettling and I have to make adjustments or my children won’t be able to “adult” as they say these days - as if it’s a verb.

My son starts school today and I don’t know which of us is dreading it more! He doesn’t enjoy school the way I did when I was a kid. He is a procrastinator and he struggles to focus in class when the material is uninteresting- which, honestly, is MOST of what schools teach. The point of school is really to learn the mechanics of how to study, how to meet deadlines, how to do your best work, how to write legibly, how to read and comprehend the material you are reading, how to work with others (those in authority and your peers), time management, organizational skills, critical thinking, self advocacy and work ethic. The actual details of a particular book you might read in English are not important in adulthood. You should gain some basic knowledge of how things work and how history impacts the future but you will forget the nitty gritty details like dates important battles happened, etc. Basic math is important but higher levels of math aren’t unless you go in to a field that uses it like engineering or math teacher. But I digress…

I like it better when my kids are home. Our home is just happier with them in it and I know my time with them is limited. My daughter has only 2 years of high school left and then she’s off to college. My son has only 5 years of school left. I want to soak up every experience I can with them because I know it won’t last.

Just as things have changed as they have gotten older, taller and more capable, more adjustments will need to be made as they gain in responsibility and march toward independence.

I feel less prepared for this school year than ever before. I’m not ready! But I had better GET ready because it’s here and there’s no stopping it!

I reminds me of a song that makes me cry every time I hear it called “Slow Down.” The lyrics are:

"Slow Down"

https://youtu.be/clcNB_EUao8

Here's to you

You were pink or blue

And everything I wanted

Here's to you

Never sleeping through

From midnight till the morning

Had to crawl before you walked

Before you ran

Before I knew it

You were trying to free your fingers from my hand

'Cause you could do it on your own now

Somehow

Slow down

Won't you stay here a minute more

I know you want to walk through the door

But it's all too fast

Let's make it last a little while

I pointed to the sky and now you wanna fly

I am your biggest fan

I hope you know I am

But do you think you can somehow

Slow down

Here's to you

Every missing tooth

Every bedtime story

Here's to Barbie cars, light saber wars

Sleeping in on Sunday

Had to crawl

Before you walked

Before you ran

Before I knew it

You were teaching me

The only thing love can

Hold hands through it

When it's scary, you've got me

Slow down

Won't you stay here a minute more

I know you want to walk through the door

But it's all too fast

Let's make it last a little while

I pointed to the sky and now you wanna fly

I am your biggest fan

I hope you know I am

But do you think you can somehow

Slow down

Please don't roll your eyes at me

I know I'm embarrassing

But someday you'll understand

You'll hold a little hand

Ask them if they can...

Oh oh ho Oooh

'Cause it's all too fast

Oh oh ho Oooh

I am your biggest fan

I hope you know I am

But do you think you can

Somehow

Slow down

Slow down

But time doesn’t slow down and nothing is going to wait until I’m ready. I made a deal with my son when he was little that if he would just stay little, I wouldn’t get old. He was struggling with the idea that I would get old and die some day. But, just like a disobedient child, he got bigger - so I have gotten older because he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain!😂😉