Why not ME?

During the COVID lock down, our church closed its' doors like many others did.  People stayed home.  Our kids did school online from our dining room table.   My husband was one of many on a forced leave of absence.  We spent Sunday mornings on our couch watching Charles Stanley and other televised services.  Everyone was home - it was a forced slow down.  You would have thought that our church leadership would have used that time to reach out to the various members of the church to see how they were doing. But they didn't.  Maybe that the women in the church would send out notes of encouragement?  We received 1 from our kids' piano teacher.  We got 2 phone calls from a man who was in his 90's and a good friend.   We got a call about potentially doing AWANA online via Zoom and another one about possibly doing Zoom Sunday school for our kids.  That was it.  We were disappointed and feeling like nobody cared so we decided it was time to find another church.   We visited around and found a church we thought would be a better fit for our family.  It was a great place to land temporarily but the kids ultimately wanted to go back to the place they had spent most of their growing up years and we all just missed our church "home".  So we decided to go back to our old (now current) church - and it was SO good to be back!  

I had been thinking for awhile about the reasons we had left and how we had responded to what really was apathy on behalf of others and a lack of encouragement.  As easy as it is to be critical and blame the church or the church leadership though, the reality is that we didn't reach out or try to encourage anyone while we were stuck at home either.  We were as much a part of the problem as anyone!

So, going back to our church home, I made a commitment to the Lord - that I would do my best to encourage others to be more involved with eachother's lives.   I am determined not to be that person sitting around feeling like I wish someone would come talk to me or pointing a finger wondering why someone doesn't meet a need I see developing.  Why not ME?  If I am able, I should be the one to jump in where I see an unmet need.  But I cannot be solely responsible for the building up of the body of Christ.   We all need to do our part and bring our different gifts to the table.   

And another problem I see is that we, as a church, are looking to our elders to step in and meet those needs but we aren't providing them with the resources and encouragement they need.  They are not responsible for doing all the work.  They ARE responsible for leading and for teaching US how to live Godly lives.  They are to be an example to us for how to live but they are human too.  If they don't live up to Biblical standards or if they fail to lead as they should, we are NOT off the hook!  We are responsible for following God's will for our lives above all else.  And the greatest commandments in the Bible are to first love God with our whole being and then love our neighbors. The Bible does not say we are supposed to do that only if our church leaders are excellent at it.  

So I am to listen to the Lord and follow His lead regardless of what happens around me.  I am to love and serve and do my best to motivate others to love and serve in the way they have been gifted by God.  I am confident the Lord will provide the strength, energy and means for anything he requires of us.  So I say now " Here I am!  Why not send me?"

WHAT IS WRONG WITH US??!!

We have 3 or 4 widows and 2 fairly recent widowers in our small congregation.  In general in this life, women outlive men and that is how married couples plan when considering the future of their estates after one of them passes away.  Women expect to become widows and men expect to be the first to die.  But it doesn't always happen that way and in the older generation,  men in their 70's and 80's who outlive their wives often struggle to learn how to cook, do laundry and operate the household on their own.  

In my own family,  my Dad died first.  It was a difficult adjustment for my Mom but she always did all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry and handled the household finances so she didn't have to immediately learn anything new to survive on her own (until the lawn needed mowing).  Had my Dad outlived my Mom, he could have cooked basic meals for himself and vacuumed the house but he would have needed a lot of practical support and help with laundry,  grocery shopping,  paying bills and other basic functions necessary to continue living on his own.

Well, that's exactly what has happened to 2 men in our church in the past year and a half or so.  And one of those men has no children to help him.  His wife DID try to teach him some basic cooking,  shopping and computer/bill paying and finance skills as she fought her cancer battle but he is now just over 6 months past her death and he is feeling lonely, afraid, overwhelmed and ill equipped to handle life on his own.  But he has learned so many things so quickly and he is leaning heavily on the Lord!  I am able to check in on him during the week, when he is the loneliest, and send him encouraging emails.  I hug him on Sundays because one of the hardest things for him is the loss of human touch.   In short, he needs people. 

What makes me SO sad is that he now considers me his best friend and all I do is send him emails weekly and hug him and listen to him talk about his emotional struggles for a few minutes on Sunday mornings. 

So I was talking to someone at church this past Sunday about maybe starting up the monthly men's meeting again (they haven't met since COVID) and he said they had talked about it but no decision had been made.  I reminded him that we have a couple of widowers who are lonely and in serious need of fellowship with other men.  He quickly said "yeah but they are fresh widowers."  As if being newly thrust into a life alone when you had been married to the same person for over 50 years means you need to be left alone to adjust on your own to your new life of solitude before you need other men to come alongside!  Being "freshly" and suddenly single means they need MORE support, MORE understanding, MORE fellowship,  MORE grace, patience and love!  And ASAP!  We shouldn't wait!

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US???!!!  Are we no longer capable of compassionately meeting the needs of the elderly widows and widowers?  Where is the heart that used to love our church family as if they were related by blood?  

I think it is particularly a problem with Christian men who have been beaten down by this society and told they don't matter and so have stopped trying and younger women who are told they can do it all - career, family, etc and are too busy having it all to pay attention to anyone else.

What we need is a huge re-set in our churches!  We need to STOP and listen to the quiet screams for help coming from the person sitting right next to us at church.   We need to hear the Holy Spirit whispering the name of a brother or sister in Christ who needs some extra encouragement at that moment and reach out to offer a prayer or a quick text to let them know they are in our thoughts. 

We need more selfless love and compassion!  And we need to shut out the noise of this world and start listening to the Lord's still small voice.

Immeasurable, inexpressible, unsearchable, surpassing knowledge or understanding…

How do you describe something that is indescribable?  You can't!  How do you measure the immeasurable?  You can't!  We can't understand things that are beyond understanding and we can't express the inexpressible. In short, we can't comprehend God's amazing attributes.   We can't know or understand all there is to know about God.  But we are given enough knowledge to prove He is our creator and that we messed up big time, causing our future to look bleak until God's perfect Son, broke off from the Godhead and became human (the only sinless human to exist) so He could pay the penalty for our sins (‭‭Romans‬ ‭6:23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.) and give us the opportunity to accept His free gift of salvation so we can spend eternity in heaven with Him instead of a tortured in hell - alone, eternally separated from God.  

Honestly,  it's impossible to truly comprehend how God is 3 persons in 1 (Father,  Son and Holy Spirit).  It's impossible to understand how God could be everywhere at once, know everything there is to know and be the most powerful force in existence.   But He is all those things and more.   What's almost harder to understand is how an all powerful, all knowing God could feel such love and compassion for me, that He would send a part of Himself to die so He could save me from a fate worse than death.  

I'm GLAD God is incomprehensible.   If He could be understood and explained,  He would not be the sovereign God He is.  I'm GLAD He knows everything,  sees everything,  has control over everything- because I am weak and foolish and I make lots of mistakes.   I need someone with the big picture in view to wisely guide me down the correct path.

I have spent time off and on over the years considering the deep things of God.  One of my favorite hymns is The Deep Deep Love of Jesus (vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!).  And I enjoy dwelling on the thought that His depths are beyond finding out.  I know I will never understand His ways or His thoughts - at least not THIS side of heaven.   But I think He likes me to think about Him as often as I do.  

Here are some verses I searched out this morning on this subject.   I know there are more and I'm looking forward to finding them on another day:

“and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might”  Ephesians‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”  Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.”  Psalm‬ ‭147‬:‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!”  ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭9‬:‭15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Behold, God is great, and we know him not; the number of his years is unsearchable.”  Job‬ ‭36‬:‭26‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.”  ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭145‬:‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!”  ‭‭Romans‬ ‭11‬:‭33‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ,”  Ephesians‬ ‭3‬:‭8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“God thunders wondrously with his voice; he does great things that we cannot comprehend.”  Job‬ ‭37‬:‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.”  ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”  ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬-‭19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Music and Light

Music often times helps me through tough days.  I have an upbeat Spotify playlist that I listen to in the car while driving around grocery shopping and running errands.   I often play my upbeat playlist when I'm baking or cooking.  Music helps motivate me when I am feeling tired and like I just need a nap but have to fix dinner for my family or bake banana bread like I did today because our bananas weren'tgoingto make it much longer.   

And certain songs resonate with me at different times.  One that has been running through my mind the last couple of days is a song by Jason Gray called Glow in the Dark.  The lyrics are:

Sometimes the world feels like a mess

Full of drama, full of stress
And life puts a fist right in your ribs
You can hide if you choose to
And no one would even blame you
Or you can let them see how you deal with it

That even in the darkest place
His love can make you radiate

Doesn't matter how deep, how dark the night is
Keep hoping, keep on shining
And they'll see His light burning in your heart
And if the road gets rough, just keep your head up
Let the world see what you're made of
That His love's alive in your deepest parts
Like a flame, like a burning star you can shine right where you are
He made you to glow in the dark

Don't be ashamed of your past
If you're shattered like a piece of glass
The more broke you are the more the light gets through
Show your wounds and your flaws
Show them why you still need the cross
Let them see the work He's doing in you

That even in the darkest place
His love can make you radiate

Doesn't matter how deep, how dark the night is
Keep hoping, keep on shining
And they'll see His light burning in your heart
And if the road gets rough, just keep your head up

Let the world see what you're made of
That His love's alive in your deepest parts

Like a flame, like a burning star you can shine right where you are

He made you to glow in the dark

Doesn't matter how deep, how dark the night is
Keep hoping, keep on shining
And they'll see His light burning in your heart
And if the road gets rough, just keep your head up
Let the world see what you're made of
That His love's alive in your deepest parts

Like a flame, like a burning star you can shine right where you are
He made you to glow in the dark

I was thinking about this song because in my Bible reading the last few days have been verses about light - Jesus as the light of the world and shining through us and verses contrasting light and darkness.   I decided this morning to search up verses about light throughout the Bible and came up with a good selection (although not exhaustive - the Bible has a lot to say about light and darkness.   But here is a list of verses I put together this morning:

“The sun shall be no more your light by day, nor for brightness shall the moon give you light; but the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.”  ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭60‬:‭19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light”  ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.”  ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭9‬:‭2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.”  John‬ ‭3‬:‭20‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“the people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light, and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death, on them a light has dawned.””  Matthew‬ ‭4‬:‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.”  ‭‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.””  John‬ ‭8‬:‭12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light.””  ‭‭Luke‬ ‭11‬:‭36‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.”  ‭‭1 John‬ ‭1‬:‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“In him was life, and the life was the light of men.”  ‭‭John‬ ‭1‬:‭4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“He uncovers the deeps out of darkness and brings deep darkness to light.”  Job‬ ‭12‬:‭22‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”  ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”  Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭105‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“So Jesus said to them, “The light is among you for a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you. The one who walks in the darkness does not know where he is going.”  John‬ ‭12‬:‭35‬ ‭ESV‬‬

““You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.”  ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.”  ‭‭John‬ ‭12‬:‭46‬ ‭ESV‬‬

With MS (or maybe it's just age) comes some vision difficulties like having a more difficult time adjusting to a dark room.  Because I have quite a bit of dizziness and have problems with balance, I rely on my eyes to help keep me from bumping into things or triping over furniture.   So at night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom,  I have to be really slow and careful with my hands out in front of me feeling for the bathroom door.  My husband can't sleep with a light on so our bedroom is quite dark at night.  But in the hallways there are nightlights shining so that, when I get up in the early morning hours before everyone else, I can see well enough not to fall down the stairs. 

I think of unbelievers as people groping around in a dark room looking for direction and we, as Christians are the little night lights shining the way.   When someone flips the light switch and floods the room with light - that's Jesus,  chasing away the darkness and shining the light of salvation.   I want His love to shine so brightly in me that the darkness flees and the world will see the truth and be saved!