Handicapable!

I am not very physically active these days.  I spend a lot of time sitting because I am dizzy and have a limp and get tired very easily.   Exercise would probably help with the fatigue if I was consistent.  But I'm NOT consistent about getting exercise and sometimes I wonder how much strength I have lost.

My husband was out of town for a few days and we got snow.  The driveway needed to be shoveled off today and deicer sprinkled afterwards and I was determined to do it myself.   Yes, I have 2 teenagers who were home from school because of the snow with nothing better to do than help shovel snow off our driveway but I knew the activity would be good for me and I really WANTED to prove to myself that I could still handle it.  

So, while the kids built snowmen and played baseball with a stick and some snowballs, I shoveled snow.  My husband told me I could wait until he got home (at around 11:45am) but he works so hard and I wanted to have the driveway cleared so he could get his suitcase, etc inside without stepping in the then-melting and slushy snow.

In the end, I got the driveway completely cleared of snow and put deicer on it so it wouldn't freeze and pose a slipping hazard.  I didn't even really struggle with the job even though the snow was a wet,  heavy 3" layer.  The Lord ALWAYS provides me with the strength and energy for the task at hand!

I'm not even sore tonight and I feel like I accomplished something great with the Lord's help!  I didn't do it for thanks or praise - good thing because I didn't get any.  It just felt good to relatively easily accomplish something that I thought would be much more difficult with my Multiple Sclerosis challenges.  

I'm feeling very grateful for the real-life evidence of God's power in my every day life and I am feeling a little stronger knowing the arm of my Savior is strengthening me every moment.  It's not just something I say, it's real, it's powerful and it's evidenced daily in my life whether I am shoveling snow, driving the kids to and from school, grocery shopping or sharing the gospel with a neighbor.   I truly believe I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength and when I am weak, I truly AM strong in Christ!

Facing Fear

When our son was 3 1/2 years old, he jumped into a crowded public pool when my back was turned for a second.   He didn't know how to swim but he was confident as he had been watching his older sister's swimming lessons.  The lifeguard didn't see him floating face down in the water but when I turned around,  I did!  I jumped into the pool and saved him.  He started screaming and crying and wanted OUT of that pool immediately!  I knew he had to get back into the pool to conquer his fear and the lifeguards offered him a life vest.  He agreed to get back in with me holding him AND he wore the life vest.  But, while he enjoys the water and loves to wade around in swimming pools, he has never again put his face under water.  He is terrified of drowning.  We tried 3 years of swimming lessons but he has not able to get beyond that fear.

I have been thinking a lot about that incident lately as we have been discussing the idea of baptism with our son.  He knows what it is and why it's important but he is just too afraid to dip his face in the water.  It's something we are working on with him.  

I started thinking about how like his Mom he is in some ways.  How many times have I confidently run into a situation only to find myself in over my head and needing to be saved?  Countless!  I hope I am getting better at recognizing danger before I jump now but I am really trying to evaluate whether I have permanent scars from some of those past experiences.  Did I learn the lessons I was supposed to or do I irrationally avoid those situations because of an ancient memory of hurt?  Do I face uncertainty with anxiety and fear or do I put my life vest on, hold my Savior's hand and trust Him to keep me safe?