Toxic People

​I have come to recognize that there are unhappy people in this world who aren’t going to be able to experience joy and only want to spread their unhappiness everywhere they go.  I have limited energy and these types of people drain my limited mental energy so there is little left.

I recently had to block a “friend” from her ability to contact me.  I realized she was not actually a friend and was actively trying to cause difficulty for me.  I don’t understand people like that but I realize this woman is miserable and she can’t stand to be near joyful people.

This isn’t the first time I have had to make the decision to distance myself from a toxic relationship.  I had to cut off communication with a cousin who was a drug addict and loved the thrill of debate so he took the opposite side of every topic of discussion and I became weary of constant disagreements from a drug-fueled mind that didn’t make rational sense.  It consumed my thoughts because I love my cousin and I really wanted to help him out of the downward spiral his life had become.  But it was detrimental to my health and my ability to focus my attention on my family.

So, my advice?  Cut loose anyone who tries to steal your joy or who tries to drag you down into their pit of unhappiness.  You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved.  Be kind to them, pray for them, let God help them and then let them go.

Monday! Wake up! 😃

Good morning!   I am happy to report that my covid symptoms have continued to be extremely mild and hopefully I am on the mend.  I have to be careful not to celebrate too early.   Sometimes illnesses in me appear mild at first only to take a sudden turn and then I'm miserable and need antibiotics to get over them.  That hasn't happened to me in several years, thankfully, but it has happened frequently enough to make me cautious. 

No big plans today.  We are all just trying to lay low and get or stay healthy.   My daughter has volleyball tryouts next week so the last thing she needs is a relapse!

Well, I'm sure the Lord will surprise me with something today.   Yesterday it was a message from one of my Aunts - she texted me out of the blue and said "I love you so much!"  😊

Perspective

​If you have been following along with me, you know how I view the world and what my daily experiences are.  Today is Sunday and we stayed hone from church because we have COVID.  My husband got up early and made a yummy breakfast of bacon, eggs and he had pancake batter all mixed up and ready when another argument broke out.  I don’t even really understand why my husband got mad.  I do NOT respond in anger though - I just mostly stay quiet and pray but sometimes silence is the wrong approach.  But yesterday was a tough day and without going in to too much detail, our daughter was depressed and didn’t eat all day - she spent all day crying in her room.  But this morning, because my husband made her favorite breakfast and then left the house, she decided to leave her room and eat breakfast.  She hasn’t been in her room once since coming downstairs for breakfast.  She watched 2 Charles Stanley messages with me (and her brother) and let me fix lunch which she ate as well.  Without the morning’s events, she might still be on a hunger strike and about to pass out because her body really needs regular meals to function properly.  So even in the bad circumstances of life, I can see the Lord working for our good.

In any case, about perspectives.  Yesterday my husband was talking to me about all the difficulties in his life and how everywhere he goes he finds rude and inconsiderate people.  He reads the news stories and it’s all violence and the area we live in is so spiritually oppressed.  He told me he is afraid to drive anywhere, afraid to encounter violence or rudeness out in public, afraid even to walk out to get the mail or do yard work for fear of an uncomfortable encounter with a neighbor.  By contrast, I glance at the headlines once in awhile to stay informed but mostly ignore the details of the stories.  And everywhere I go I find I encounter kindness and courteous people.  Why are our experiences so different?  I am mot afraid to go out in public.  I look for opportunities to go outside and chat with our neighbors, I volunteer to run errands for my husband and family.  I enjoy going to church and talking with other believers and discovering believers out while shopping and I am encouraged by it all!  

It’s a matter of perspective.  If you are focused on the evil in this world instead of on God’s promise to deliver you from that evil, all you will ever see is evil surrounding you.  But if your eyes are focused on the Lord and His power and love for us, you will see His hand shedding light on darkness and you will be comforted and feel joyful and thankful for His daily gift of mercy.

Wake Up!

So, I sent this to my family and friends via text yesterday:

It was just for fun and as a check-in to let them know they are in my thoughts and prayers.   I got a lot of fun responses but this evening, when I was feeling my worst because I'm sick with COVID, one of my cousins sent me this response:

"I saw this yesterday, my 1am shift. I absolutely loved this message and shared it with my two coworkers!! ❤️❤️"

Even when I don't go anywhere, God finds a way to send me encouragement.  I am deeply loved by Him!🥰

COVID

​Good morning!  I started feeling sick last night - scratchy throat and minor runny nose.  My husband tested positive for COVID this week so I took a home test this morning and it was positive for COVID.  Our daughter has a terrible sore throat and is staying home from conditioning camp today.  We haven’t tested her but she almost certainly has COVID.  Our son shows no sign of illness so far and we are hoping to keep it that way!

Interestingly, our daughter had the vaccine and 1 booster, I had the vaccine and 2 boosters and my husband had the vaccine and 3 boosters.  This is my husband’s 3rd time getting COVID, this is my second time and our daughter’s 4th time.  Now for the fascinating part - we did not have our son vaccinated because of all the risks associated with the vaccine in young boys as well as his extreme fear of needles.  Our son has never had COVID.  He has been sick before, tested numerous times and has never had a positive COVID test.  Two years ago three of us picked up COVID on vacation.  Despite sharing a small hotel room and being around us 24/7 for a week before we cane home, our son never developed COVID.  So, either the vaccine increases your chance of getting the virus or our son is immune to it!😁

As viruses go, COVID feels like a cold.  In my experience, it is a nuisance, but I’ve had much worse illnesses - strep throat and mono are among them.  I know with MS I am supposed to be more vulnerable because I am on an immuno-suppressant but I haven’t had any trouble getting through it and I am praying this time will be no different.

I know people who have really struggled with COVID and had to be hospitalized and put on oxygen.  I believe the Lord is protecting me and keeping me from getting THAT sick.  I may be compromised by MS but I am still needed by my family.☺️

Well, I will keep you posted.  Praying this is no big deal like before.  🙂

On Wednesday We Wear Pink!

​Okay, Mean Girls was a silly movie and I am nothing like those girls.  Neither are my daughter and her friends but last year they decided to all wear pink on Wednesdays.  Some of their teachers even got in on it!  Today is Wednesday, so I am wearing pink in solidarity with my beautiful daughter and her amazing friends who strive to be more Christlike every day.😊

On another note though - I’m TIRED!😩. I stayed up WAY too late last night and had to get up early to get my daughter to her Conditioning Camp.  I have a dental cleaning this morning too.  And it just started raining.

But I love the rain!  So, I won’t dance because my balance is terrible and it’ll be worse today because I’m so tired but I WILL shake my hips a little as I walk to the car this morning and I will laugh because I will know how goofy I look!   And I won’t care!🤣

I will let you know if anything amazing happens today.  I’m positive the Lord will do SOMETHING to draw my attention to how awesome He is - He’s just like that!

Shopping Day!

​I am getting myself back to the status quo finally!  I can feel my face again (stress makes my face start to lose feeling which scares me because the feeling I’ve lost in my left arm, hand, leg and foot has never come back).  I went to bed early last night and slept like a log!  I feel ready to go out and do my grocery shopping!

I am excited about what the Lord will do today - it’s going to be an adventure!

Well, I didn’t get to finish this post before I had to go get my daughter to her conditioning camp so I was off to the races and am now done with all the shopping.🙂

I went to Safeway first and nothing terribly interesting happened there.  Took those groceries home and went to pick up my daughter.  Next we went to Target.  I know, I know - I haven’t been shopping at that woke store that supports evil but my daughter had an old (years old) gift card that we decided she should use and be done with it.  On our way there we had the most fun interaction with a road construction worker holding a stop sign.  He had just turned it to stop us and he walked right up to the front of the car, smiled this enormous smile, stuck his tongue out and waved the “hang loose” signal with his free hand.  We laughed out loud so hard!  I rolled my window down and he said “It’s a beautiful day!”  I agreed and then he walked up to my window, asked me if I was ready and turned the sign around and told me to have a nice day.  I fist bumped him as I pulled away and my daughter and I laughed and talked about it the rest if the way to the store.

Third stop was Fred Meyer where I got the rest of the groceries and my daughter searched for an eclectic bunch of small gifts for her friend’s birthday party.  At checkout she didn’t have enough money so the store clerk scanned a coupon for her and got her down a few dollars.  Then she scanned it for my groceries too!

Final stop was the thrift store.  We didn’t find much but I got a few books for my son.  One of my favorite clerks was there - she gave me a huge discount and was so sweet chatting with my daughter.

So I survived my shopping trip and was energized by the kindness of the people we encountered today.  We also saw a couple of bumper stickers on a black car that said iPray and Blessed.  I’m telling you, Christians are everywhere and I have positive encounters everywhere I go.  I can feel the Lord guiding me through every day - even the rough ones.🙂

Happy Monday!

Flare… sorry!

​It happens, life can get pretty overwhelming sometimes and I have to take a break.  Stress can cause my brain to start to shut down and my body follows suit.  The hardest thing for me is the mental fatigue that cones with relationship drama and we have had buckets of that in our house over the past week!  My husband is a talker.  I probably can’t convey how much he talks because you wont believe me.  But I need silent spaces throughout the day to give my brain a rest and my husband isn’t capable of silence.   

So there was a lot of what I will refer to as “intense fellowship” last week as well as drama with our daughter and the boy she likes - taking away communication privileges, etc.  So I was being talked at by my husband for hours a day - often quite loudly and when I wasn’t being talked at by him, my daughter was talking at me.  Too many words to process and my brain decided to stop processing all of them.  My body started to slow way down too.  I felt like my body was encased in 75lbs of play doh.  It was a horrible feeling.

But, God is faithful!  Finally my family realized there was no point in talking at me until I could get a break and rest my brain.  I have had more downtime and longer naps the last couple of days and am thankfully starting to recover from my MS flare-up.

I took my daughter to her first day of conditioning camp for volleyball this morning and am getting this quiet time while my son spends his hour of screen time on his iPad and my husband is upstairs doing laundry and packing for his next trip.

Out of the chaos if the last week a few things have happened that might not otherwise have occurred.  First, I have been able to have many talks with our daughter about trusting God.  Now we have talked about this many times but right now her reliance on God is being tested because her communication with the boy she likes and views as her best friend has been restricted to just writing letters to each other and the letters must be read by a parent before mailed.  She is struggling because she can’t talk to him or text/email him.  I told her that this is where she needs to out her full trust in the strength of the Lord.  That people, being fallible human beings, WILL disappoint us but God never will.  He knows us and loves us better than anyone ever could.  I urged her to share her heart with the Lord - to “cast all her cares” on Him and rely on Him to carry her through this trial.  So hard for a 14 year old girl to do but such an important life lesson that will give her the strength she will need as she grows and matures.

Another thing that came out of all the drama is that I was feeling like I needed a break from everything so we were going to stay home from church.  Part of the fallout from that decision was the extreme disappointment expressed by both kids.  I was getting talked at by even my son who desperately wanted to go to church (which thrilled my soul but it was also exhausting).  Sunday morning came and I was feeling a little better - but too late to go to the church we have been attending the past year and a half.  So I decided to take the kids to our old church - the one we raised our kids in and the one my husband grew up in.  And we were met with so much love!  The effort of hugging and catching up with so many people was exhausting but so joyfully so!  I had to take a huge nap after lunch but my soul has been rejuvenated!

So, once again, I am blessed.  Even in the middle of chaos and difficulty, I am exponentially blessed!😃