Pain Tolerance

I know I need to pace myself and limit the major tasks I tackle to one or maybe two per day. And a “major” task for me is defined differently than for a healthy person- and WAY differently than when I was healthy myself! A major task is grocery shopping - that pretty much uses up all my energy for a full day. Yard work has to be broken up into small, more manageable pieces. Housework also has to be broken down into smaller chores that are spread out over several days. Thankfully, I have capable teenagers who do the bulk of the housework and a husband who does the bulk of the yard work! But we have been trying to do some deeper “spring” cleaning this past week or so and that has been an all hands on deck process and I tried to do too much. As a result, after watering the raspberries and as I was putting the hose away, my ankle decided it was going to roll. I didn’t sprain my ankle because I fell all the way to the ground once it rolled. But I DID bruise the outer edge of my foot AND I think I pulled the muscle that runs across the arch of my foot (at least I HOPE that’s all I did). It hurt! But I have still been able to limp around so I have continued to do what I can to keep up with my life. I have always had a high pain tolerance and I rarely take pain relievers. I took some pain relievers for a couple of days because they are also anti-inflammatories and my foot was swollen. I iced it too. But it has been over a week now since I hurt my foot and it is not getting better. It’s not worse but it is getting harder to push through and ignore the pain. It was already fatiguing to drag my left leg around because my brain struggles to send signals down the left side of my body. But now that my left foot also hurts when I am walking, I am finding it even more fatiguing and my pain threshold is being stretched.

I have been experiencing a different type of pain over the past week as well. Someone I care about has been trying to engage in a political debate with me. She has very strong and very negative feelings that I keep trying to help her overcome by pointing her back to the Lord. She is not open to a different perspective or to taking a wider view of the issues she sees as problems. She wants to air her opinions and then she wants those opinions validated. She is a Christian that apparently doesn’t trust that Christ has everything handled and can’t rest in His promises. She doesn’t experience the peace or joy of knowing the Lord has control of a world that feels out of control. I don’t like arguing so I refuse to allow myself to be drawn in to a fruitless debate. I just keep bringing up scripture and urging her to seek Godly wisdom and discernment and to trust that God is able to use anyone to accomplish His purposes. She continues to fill my inbox with arguments and I am rapidly approaching my pain threshold.

I have been here before. I am related to a person who loves to debate so much that he purposely takes the opposite side from me on every issue just to argue. He calls it “discourse” and he really enjoys it. I do not. His life is a train wreck in every area and he has turned his back on God. He is an angry, bitter person who thrives on picking verbal fights. It is toxic and I had to cut off communication with him even though he is a member of my family and I love him. I pray for him but I can’t allow him to rent negative space in my brain. I reached my pain threshold with him years ago and a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders.

I know there are a lot of strong emotions out there regarding our country’s political situation. There is so much divisive rhetoric being tossed around and it’s ugly. It is important to understand that the people around us are not the enemy but are being USED by our enemy to create division and distract us. If we are full of anxiety, fear and anger and are fighting about our differences and debating political positions, we can’t be effective witnesses for Christ. We damage our testimonies and we miss out on the peace and joy we can experience when we put our full confidence in the Lord and trust that He has everything under control. We can choose not to be a part of the problem. I find that my threshold for this type of pain is higher when I keep my eyes on Jesus and out of the political fray. He is my hope and my redeemer. He has overcome the world and is my confidence and full assurance. He has not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. As long as I keep this in perspective, if I truly believe God is omnipotent and omniscient, I am free from the burdens of this crazy, sinful world and I don’t have to tolerate the pain because I have a Savior who carries those burdens for me.