Love Like Jesus

We are supposed to live and love like Jesus but what does that mean?  What would that look like?  It's something all Christians struggle with and it's REALLY difficult to put into practice. 

It all clicked with me this week - at least the answer to the what would that look like question.  Maybe I'm a little slow to make this connection but in Matthew chapters 8 and 9 we see a day in the life of Jesus.  I read these chapters and noticed that Jesus performed miracle after miracle as he walked through His days.  He heals a paralytic and calls Matthew to be his disciple, rolls right in to teaching the Pharasees the truth about forgiveness and the purpose of fasting and as He is speaking a devout ruler interrupts because his daughter has died and he believes Jesus has the power to come raise her from the dead.  While Jesus is heading to the ruler's house to perform this miracle, a woman is healed of a bleeding disease. After He raises the girl from the dead and as he is leaving town, 2 blind men request that Jesus restore their sight and as the men with newly restored sight are leaving, a demon possessed man who is mute that needs relief presents himself to Jesus who casts out the demon and restores his voice.  

John tells us that the entire world couldn't contain all the books that could be written about all the signs and wonders Jesus performed while on earth.  So I tend to think the events recorded in Matthew were pretty typical of a day in the life of our Lord.  What I realized as I was reading through these accounts was that Jesus willingly helps people - everywhere He turned someone needed healing.  And He healed them all.  He did it without expressing frustration that someone had interrupted Him or delayed His journey.   He didn't make anyone feel like they were bothering Him and He didn't complain about how much or how hard He was working for everyone else.  It must have been exhausting which is why He frequently slipped away to be alone - to recharge and to fellowship with the Father.  But after this important time of prayer and quiet communication with God the Father, Jesus jumps right back into the fray - providing healing, comfort and hope.   Meeting the needs of others without hesitation.

I was contrasting this with my own life.  How often do I get frustrated when I am interrupted while doing something I view as important?  Do I make people feel like I have places to go and things to do so they need to hurry up or stay out of my way?  I admit that Multiple Sclerosis makes it more difficult for me to switch gears quickly.  I don't transition easily and I approach my daily tasks more methodically and systematically than I used to, leaving less room for spontaneity.   It's more difficult for me than it used to be - but not impossible. 

What I want is to be more like Jesus as I walk through my days.  Always loving, compassionate and meeting the needs I encounter with grace and without complaining.  I want to be available when I am needed and not distracted by my task list or by the concerns of life.  I want to be present in each moment with each person I encounter.  

Now, that's what I WANT to do, who I WANT to be.  And it's so easy to say but so difficult to do when my world gets hectic and my slow brain can't keep up.

But I wanted to talk about this because it has been on my mind for several days and I need the prayer and accountability of others to point out when I am failing to behave in a way that is pleasing to the Lord.  Jesus did it perfectly and we are (I am) never going to attain that level of perfection.   But I believe God wants us/me to TRY. 

Prayer Network

Prayer is vital for our health and for the health of our church family.  I encourage everyone to have a network of people they can call or text or email to get instant prayer support when they need it.   Prayer is a direct line to God who hears and who cares about us and about our concerns. 

For as long as I have been attending our church (since 1995) there has been a Prayer Chain.  It used to be a typed list of people and phone numbers.   The chapel directory was split into 3rds and there were 3 women who each were responsible for a 1 of the 3 lists.  You could call any of the 3 women with your prayer request and they would contact the other 2 and all 3 would start by calling the next person on their list.  Once they passed the prayer request on, the next person was responsible for calling the person after them on the list and thus went the prayer request- traveling through a chain of callers until everyone on the list had been reached and all were praying.  The method has changed with the advent of technology.   Now, our prayer chain is sent in a group email to everyone who has requested to be included in the chain and provided an email address where they can receive an email from one of our elders. 

I had never heard of a prayer chain before I attended this church and I had visited a number of churches before I settled on this one.  I met my husband at this church and together we lived in 3 other states before settling back in the place we started.  We have visited many churches in the past 26 years of our marriage and not a single one had a prayer chain that we were made aware of.  I don't think the Prayer Chain is unique to our church but in this day and age it IS unique among the majority of churches.

I love that our church has this prayer chain network and I highly recommend that everyone assemble a network of prayer warriors they can contact whenever they need prayer.   We still have a weekly Prayer meeting as well and a list goes out every Wednesday morning with the names of 4 of our church families (different each week - taken from our church directory), the name of the speaker who will be bringing the message the following Sunday,  the names of people in our larger church family with chronic illnesses or long-term needs (I'm on that list), names of our Sunday school kids, letters received that week with news and prayer requests  from the missionaries our church supports, etc. to be used as a prayer guide at the prayer meeting Wednesday evening.

We are commanded in scripture to pray continually in I Thessalonians.  We are urged in scripture to pray for eachother and to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).

But how can we do this if we aren't aware of the needs?  I've noticed recently that our prayer chain isn't used as frequently as I think it should be.  People appear to be trying not to burden others with their serious health concerns, injuries or other crises.  I have personally known people fighting serious cancer battles that never requested to have their health situation relayed through our prayer chain.  People who have specifically refused to allow their situation to be shared publicly.   I do understand the desire for privacy but the nitty gritty details of a situation aren't necessary to request prayer.   You don't have to specify the illness or the details of an injury or other serious situation to ask for prayer about treatment options, strength, comfort, wisdom, healing, pain relief and/or peace.  

I don't understand why people don't value the power that robust prayer support can have on their individual struggles. Sadly, sometimes I think it's just that people, in the midst of their struggles, don't think of asking for prayer from anyone outside their immediate families - if at all. 

My lifeline is prayer and my Rock, my Shelter, my Foundation, my Strong Tower is the One who promises to answer those prayers. I want as many people as are willing to pray for me and my family as we navigate the challenges of MS and of life in general.  

And if you need prayer,  reach out to me in the comments below- even anonymously - and I WILL pray for you!

Bits and Pieces

This is going to be a collection of things because there have been so many out-of-the-ordinary activities in my life over the past week that I want to share.

Dancing and Donuts

Last weekend our daughter was invited to a Sadie Hawkins Day dance at a senior living facility by a 93 year old woman whom she recently.   I took our daughter and dropped her off at the dance.  When I went back to pick her up, the dance was still in full swing so even I got to dance and they sent us home with a bunch of donuts that had been donated by Haggens.  As I wandered around the dance multiple people came up to me to tell me how amazing and sweet our daughter is.  They were impressed that she would choose to spend a Saturday evening dancing and dining with a group of senior citizens and they just loved her.  It's always so wonderful to hear when one of my children is exuding the love of God behind my back!  One woman came up to me and asked if she was my daughter.   When I said "yes" this woman said "I love Jesus too!"  What a great testimony our daughter has!  And we took home half a dozen donuts as a sweet treat for lending out our daughter to shine for Jesus.😋

The Wisdom of Teeth?

I think they are called wisdom teeth because they come in later - usually after high school when we are adults.  But it's a little bit of a misnomer.  They are the least consistent of all the teeth. Some people don't end up having any wisdom teeth, some only get one or two, some have all 4 but they never grow in.  Some wisdom teeth grow in at odd angles and some have 1 root while others have 3 or 4 roots.  There is no rhyme or reason when it comes to wisdom teeth and, if you have had braces in your youth or any orthodontia to straighten out your smile, when wisdom teeth grow in, they change the dynamic in your mouth and make your teeth crowded and crooked again.  So, almost everyone has them removed.   I had mine removed the summer after my senior year of high school- all 4 at once and they hadn't grown in yet.  My husband had one removed while he was in college,  another in 2013 when our kids were quite young and he had the last 2 removed on Monday of this week.  He has been on a soft food diet but is otherwise healing up nicely.  Our daughter has 4 wisdom teeth that are trying to grow in already (she's 15 years old) and there's no room.  Two of hers are growing sideways into the roots of the teeth ahead of them and it hurts!  So, all four of her wisdom teeth will be coming out on April 16 - just a couple of days before her Spring Break.   And our son has already been told by his orthodontist that he will need his wisdom teeth out next year before they start causing problems because they are developing quickly and he has already had teeth removed to make room in his mouth AND he has had braces twice.  He is 13 years old.  So, by the end of next year, our house will be rid of all wise teeth!

Are you Thrifty?

You already know that one of my favorite places to go is the thrift store in my neighborhood. I generally like to go on Tuesdays after I volunteer at my son's school.  That is the only day that my friend works there and that I am generally available to visit.  My husband is usually out of town on Tuesdays so I am not spending time away from home that should be spent with him.  But this week my husband has been home recovering from oral surgery and we ran errands after I volunteered at the school on Tuesday and then had lunnch together. I had a strong feeling that I needed to check in on my friend at the thrift store at some point that day so my daughter and I stopped by after school.  There was a long line of people waiting to pay for their items so my daughter and I browsed the store while we waited.  I rarely look at clothes there - my favorite places to look are at the arts and crafts, movies and books.  But my daughter likes to look at the clothes.  So we split up and I found a couple of movies and books while my daughter found a pair of cute jean shorts with flowers on them and a beautiful (and brand new with the original tags still on it) lavender formal dress for the next Homecoming formal at her school in October.  When the line had cleared out, my friend was SO happy to see us!  She had been down and discouraged and was wondering where I was.  She had been anticipating my visit before lunch and I didn't make it at the expected time.  So it was a profitable trip - we were able to be an encouragement to my friend, we spent less than $10 and, among other thrift store gems, my daughter got a brand new, well made, beautiful dress that she tried on as soon as she got home and discovered the only alteration it needs is to be hemmed because it's too long.  It's always a joy to go to this particular thrift store on Tuesdays.  I always walk away with a spring in my step, a heart full of joy and often with an amazing deal on something I didn't know I needed until I saw it.  😉

And that concludes my post of random bits and pieces of my past week.  Tomorrow is the last day of the kids' 3rd quarter of school.   My son has his spring break next week but my daughter's spring break isn't until the week after Easter which is why we aren't going anywhere and it was the perfect time to have her wisdom teeth yanked out.  😉

Looking forward to the next adventure!

I Love Thunderstorms

Living in Western Washington we don't tend to get very powerful thunderstorms - especially when compared with other parts of the country.  Here, our thunderstorms are more of a loud light show - sometimes small hail falls between rain showers.   The air feels and smells clean after these super soaker booming light displays.  And it's awesome!  God's power is evident and it is beautiful to watch.   If we lose power as a result of one of these storms, it's an opportunity for a fun adventure and I always know that the outage is only temporary. 

Every so often a more severe storm is predicted by our weather forecasters like the one last night that they were warning about for days.   They said this one was not our typical thunderstorm and to stay indoors and away from windows.   They predicted anywhere from dime to softball sized hail and even warned that these storms were going to be powerful enough to spawn tornadoes- an extreme rarity in our area.  People were scared.  I went grocery shopping yesterday morning and a woman in line to check out said she and her husband were going to go to a movie so they could park in the parking garage and avoid hail damage to their car.  Tuesday I was volunteering at my son's school and one of the other moms was concerned about the coming potential tornadoes.   Even my husband,  who was out of town, called me to make suggestions about how to prepare and discussed strategies for staying safe and protecting our vehicle (I had to take the kids to get their teeth cleaned at 4pm and would be leaving at about the time the storm was supposed to hit.)

But, in the end, the storm didn't turn out to be as powerful as they thought and it didn't even reach our area until after 7pm.  By 9pm all was quiet.  We never lost power, we never got any hail and there were no tornadoes.   This thunderstorm wasn't even as spectacular as the last one we had around here.  It's still important to be prepared because we HAVE had big storms that have knocked our power out for days (7 days without power is our record).  But all the hype and stress I saw out there approaching this storm was unnecessary. 

It reminded me of ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6‭-‬7‬ ‭‭‭- Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

God put that in the Bible because He knew we would experience many different types of storms in our lives and they would cause us to feel anxious.   But Jesus is the Creator of the wind, rain, hail, lightning, thunder, etc and they all obey Him.  He is in total control.  Storms are temporary and they cleanse the earth and bring refreshment once they are over.  

The weather mimics storms in our own lives - troubles we experience that cause us worry and stress.  But if we remember that God is in total control and that these troubles are only temporary, then we can look forward to the calm refreshment that comes when they eventually pass.  And we can even still our hearts in the midst of these storms that come our way to watch God's awesome and beautiful power at work to bring about a cleansing of an area of our lives that we probably didn't realize needed a good pressure washing.

When we lived in Arizona, it was almost always sunny and hot.  Rarely was there a cloud in the sky.  Being from the Pacific Northwest where the sky is constantly changing I found the constant sunshine boring - almost irritating- and the heat oppressive.  The pollution hung in the air - it was thick and unhealthy and the area only got a cleansing during monsoon season.  When the heavy rains of the monsoon season came, my husband and I would put our garage door up and sit on the tailgate of our truck inside and just watch the downpour.  We missed the rain!  

If we experience only smooth, sunny days, we can become bored and complacent. Our minds can become polluted and we don't get to experience the awesome power of God in the storms!  I used to babysit quite a bit and one night there was a thunderstorm and the little boy I was babysitting was scared of the loud thunder.   I told him it was just God talking and we then speculated about what He might be saying.   It passed the time and it calmed the little boy's fears.  

Sometimes God has to send a thunderstorm into our lives to get our attention. 

We prepare for thunderstorms by having fresh batteries in our flashlights, charging up lanterns, having candles and matches or lighters where we can get to them, maybe we have a generator and fuel where we can easily access them, etc.  As believers, we prepare for the storms in life by regularly spending time with the Lord - studying His Word, praying constantly about everything, quietly meditating on whatever the Spirit lays on our hearts and listening for what He is trying to tell us - being open to things that may be hard to swallow about ourselves.  If we maintain a moment-by-moment closeness with Jesus, the storms of life are a lot easier to navigate. 

Strong Willed?

I have been repeatedly been told that I am strong willed and that I don't recognize the limitations placed on me by MS. I am told that I am over-confident in my abilities and don't recognize that there are things I just can't do anymore.  I am misunderstood.  

But I have difficulty articulating my thoughts on this issue verbally without sounding defensive.  If I object to this characterization of me and try to explain why I believe it is incorrect, I am told that I am argumentative and contrary, prideful and unwilling to accept criticism. I don’t have the luxury of taking my time during these “discussions” to collect my thoughts and formulate coherent expressions without sounding like a whiney teen trying to get out of trouble. So I have stopped trying to be understood and am just resigned to be viewed in a way that is inaccurate, in my opinion anyway. 🙂 In short, I would rather be viewed incorrectly as over-confident and strong willed than as contrary, argumentative and unwilling to take criticism.

But for the record, the reason I am viewed as strong willed and over-confident is because I have a can-do attitude and that is something I refuse to give up. It helped me when I was young and healthy because, even if I didn’t know how to do something, I was very resourceful and was always willing and able to put the hard work in to figure out how to get a job done. Now, I am less able to learn how to do new things - especially if they are complicated. But I do not want to be that person who gives up on life and never tries because they are convinced they can’t.

I have MS, yes! And there ARE things I truly CAN’T do anymore - like run, clean the house thoroughly top to bottom in one day, multi-task, etc. But these are not the types of things I am talking about. There are things I can still do but just not as quickly as I used to. I can still cook, for instance, but now I have to start much earlier so I can take my time, working more sequentially than trying to get multiple things done at once. I can still do laundry, but I just need time to fold things and get them put away because I can’t feel my fingers and so I fumble around a little and I can’t walk fast or I could trip and fall. I can still pull weeds and do yard work but my legs need frequent breaks and I get lightheaded easily if I am bending over or looking up too much - I am not efficient but I can physically do the work. And I SHOULD continue to do whatever activities I can now to keep from continuing to get weaker because the day I truly CAN’T do those things will arrive much more quickly if I am not trying now while I CAN. So, when told I can’t go on a hike or out for a walk or a variety of other things, I always say “Yes I can!”

I am a positive person by nature - an eternal optimist. That doesn’t mean that I don’t recognize my limitations or can’t admit when something is beyond my abilities. What it means is that I am always willing to give it a try and that I need people to exercise patience and grace while I work through a task more methodically than they would. And bear with my upbeat music because that really helps me with energy and focus.

I recognize it is frustrating for someone who is high energy, efficient and enjoys juggling multiple things at once to see someone like me slowly chopping vegetables for stir-fry because I am afraid I might cut a finger and not be aware of it until I see blood (because some of my fingers are numb). But that does not mean that I need someone to take over for me. If there is no deadline we are trying to meet, just let me struggle!

Correct me if I am wrong in these attitudes but I truly believe I should not give up on trying to continue to participate in life - even if my ability to do so is awkward or slow. I can laugh about my inefficiency - and I actually really enjoy a good laugh at my own expense. I don’t take myself too seriously but I think that is where I am viewed as over-confident sometimes as well.

What I am trying to do is to make sure the people around me know I can still do things to contribute - that no one needs to feel burned out and like they have to be responsible for everything. And that they can laugh with me about how I got out a butter knife instead of a butcher knife to cut up a watermelon or accidentally spilled blueberries all over the kitchen or how I sang the wrong words to that song.😉

Now, where I AM strong willed, and the Lord is really working with me on this, is in the area of receiving care from my loved ones. I do NOT want to be a person who can’t take care of myself, let alone my family. I recognized a long time before I got MS that I was going to be a terrible patient if I ever needed full time care. I just don’t trust people not to drop me if I need help transferring from a wheelchair to a bed, for example. But I hope and pray that this is a lesson I am able to learn before the Lord forces me to learn it through becoming increasing disabled.

This has been a long and rambling post but I guess what I am trying to say is that I AM confident but I am confident in the LORD - that He will provide me with the strength and abilities necessary to meet each moment and accomplish every necessary task or goal. And I am strong willed in that I will not allow my faith in God’s ability to sustain me to be shaken or questioned. This is what I meant when I said I was misunderstood. Not that I am not confident or strong willed, but that I am not SELF-confident or over-confident in my own abilities.

I was just reading in John 15 this morning: ““I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” ‭‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭5‬ and I immediately thought of Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through him who strengthens me. I am very aware that I can’t even take my next breath without Jesus’ help. But conversely, I am confident that Jesus Christ will give me the strength to accomplish anything required of me.

Hard pressed on every side, but not destroyed.

Today was a rough day.  And I can't even write about the majority of the things that made my day so difficult which makes it even more difficult because I just process things better when I write about them.  That's one of the things I've come to realize about my specific MS challenges- I don't think as quickly as I used to and I just process information more slowly.  I have trouble organizing my thoughts so I put them in writing where I can take time, read, re-read, collect and edit thoughts and pray about how best to handle various situations. 

Today was not a physically demanding day but here I am at the end of it completely exhausted.  Thankfully,  it's Friday night and we have cleaned up from dinner and there are no lunches to pack.  Except for picking the kids up from youth group later, I am done with my activities for the day. 

The thing about this chronic illness business is that even trying to process emotionally charged conversations, complex topics or following multiple subject changes takes a LOT of mental effort.  I used to have no trouble at all listening, following,  processing and participating in these types of conversations.   It's something most people do without any difficulty at all so it's really odd to find someone who gets so tired trying to be involved in these conversations that they need a nap afterward!  And yes, this happened to me today and no, it was not appreciated by the person trying to have a long, serious and multi-faceted conversation with me.

Probably because I am so tired, I was evaluating my day and just my week in general and while last night I was feeling so great about how I had spent my week up to that point, tonight I am feeling defeated.  I am feeling overwhelmed by my emotional responsibilities and incapable of meeting the needs of those closest to me.  I admit that I am an utter failure as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.   I truly am.  I feel pushed and pulled and wrung out and shaken up - twisted, turned upside down and rolled out flat.  I feel hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, stuck down!

And I am not afraid to admit that I am weak sometimes- a lot of the time actually.   Okay, ALL THE TIME!  It's in these moments when I tune out the noise all around me and go somewhere quiet with the Lord.  I pour out my heart and just lay bare all of my sins, shortcomings and failures.  And without fail, my Savior picks me up off my face, dusts me off and tells me that He knows I stumbled and that I failed but He encourages me to keep trying.   He reminds me that He suffered a lot worse than I do on my worst MS days and He overcame.  Then He wraps His strong arms around me in a hug that I can feel when I close my eyes.   After that, He takes my hand and reminds me that He is stronger that my trials and that He is always with me, providing strength and doing all the really heavy lifting.  He tells me He loves me and peace just rolls over me like a 7 foot ocean wave.

This is what He means when He says to "Be Still and KNOW that I AM God!"  He means, get away to a quiet place where it's just Him and me.  To let Him reveal His love for me in ways I can't feel or understand when there are so many distractions clamoring for my attention.   In this stillness, I can hear His still small voice and I am refreshed.  MS has no power in His presence.  In these moments with my Lord, I am healed for a brief time.

And on evenings like this I walk back into the chaos of my life with the knowledge that, with God, I will never be crushed, in despair, forsaken or destroyed.  And I feel deeply loved.

The Best Part of Today

I had a GREAT day today!  I had plenty of energy for all my activities- I don't think I have yawned once yet and it's currently 10pm.  That's unusual for me!

I wore one of my "testimony" shirts that says "Jesus" on the front and has the text of Psalm 23 down the right arm.  And, dressed in this shirt and fully equipped with the Armor of God, I went grocery shopping.   After shopping I volunteered at my son's middle school.  And after that I visited my friend at my favorite thrift store to check in on her - the Lord has been working things out so beautifully in her life and I got an opportunity to pray with her there at the thrift store.   

And while the thrift store is my happy place and my friend that works there brings me so much joy, today's visit was NOT the best part of my day as it often is.

The absolute best part of my day was taking the kids with me to visit our friend who recently became a widower.  We visited he and his wife in October.   We visited him in January while his wife was in rehab after she had 2 surgeries to repair a broken hip and a broken femur after a nasty fall.   And we went to the memorial service (and stayed talking for hours afterward) for his wife in early March who passed away in early February, not long before his 98th birthday. This was our 4th time visiting with him in the last 6 months.

I have been friends with this man and his family for close to 30 years.  His grandchildren were in our wedding as the flower girl and ring bearer.  My husband has known them for much longer than I have - their families grew up and shared holidays together.

This man now lives alone in a house where he has lived for 60+ years - where he and his wife raised their 3 children.   He is fortunate to have all 3 children living nearby and all married, retired and those with kids are now empty nesters with children who are are adults living their own - some married.   Each of them gives up 2 days a week to spend caring for their dad.  And yet, he's lonely.   He enjoys visitors and he is so much fun to talk with!

He is originally from Germany - half Jewish, his parents had to send him and his brother to Scotland when WWII started.  Thankfully,  his parents survived the war but he and his younger brother (who didn't speak a word of English) spent 10 years in Scotland, attending school and learning English- with no information about the safety of their parents.  Tonight I learned that our friend was a "bad kid" back then - he hung out with the bad kids.  Apparently,  he picked fights and used bad language.  I had a hard time believing his story about being a bad kid because I have always known him as a quiet, kind man.  

*Okay, at 10:30 my fatigue kicked in and I had to get to bed so I am now writing this the next day (3/19).

I don't know how accurate our 98 year old friend's stories are because he suffered a stroke in the past and has some fuzzy memories.   He remembers details incorrectly sometimes and sometimes his mouth moves faster than his brain and he mis-speaks.  But hearing him talk about his time in Germany and Scotland is fascinating.   Hearing what he remembers from his younger days here and the friends we have had in common - stories I hadn't heard before about people I knew - is something special that I cherish.  He has no filter now because of his stroke so he just speaks his mind.  What I love about visiting him - especially with my kids - is that I can sit next to him on a couch and just talk with him like I would with a peer over coffee - no pretense,  no fear of offending the other - just love and joy.  He smiles a lot,  this time there were a few tears too because he, of course, misses his wife.   And everything he says is interesting or at least entertaining even if it's not always accurate.   The kids learn a lot from him and most of all they learn to be kind to their elders and to value them.

My Dad had Alzheimers for a few years before he died and we frequently had conversations about things that I knew were fabricated by his disease-riddled mind.  But they were things that were real to him at the moment and I loved my Dad.  I thoroughly enjoyed every conversation I had with him.  I enjoyed being with him and who he was able to be in each stage of his life.  Even when he was non-verbal, he was a blessing to hang out with.  He would squeeze my hand so tightly that it would hurt but I didn't try to pull away - this was his only method of communicating love in the end and I adored him for communicating the only thing that truly mattered.  Because I spent time with him regularly as he slipped further inside himself, I understood his gesture and I received the message. 

What I have come to realize is that nobody has a choice about getting older.  We can eat healthy and exercise and maybe delay major illnesses but we don't have any real control over how our bodies and minds handle the aging process.   The only way to escape the pangs of old age is to die young.  So, as with our children as they are learning to walk and talk,  we need to be patient and show grace to our elderly friends and parents when they struggle to remember or maybe make up a story altogether.  We need to spend time with them - and learn to hear what they are really saying between the confusion and fuzzy thoughts.  Younger generations have lost the art of conversation just for the sake of conversation and the value of spending time with the elderly, listening,  asking questions, just being with them to help carry the burdens they have been carrying for so many years.  

My daughter had a teacher this year who took her class to a senior living facility to make gingerbread houses and play bingo with the residents there.  The lady my daughter was paired up with is 93 years old and sharp mentally but her body is weak and she uses a walker.  They exchanged phone numbers and they text with each other.  This week my daughter was invited to go back to the facility to learn to play Phase 10 with this lady and 2 of her friends (one of whom is 102 years old).  So, this afternoon after school I took my daughter to the senior living facility to hang out with her new friend group.   I got to stay and pull up a chair to watch, chat and learn.  It was so much fun!  These women are incredible people!  The 102 year old beat everyone at the game as I am told she usually does!  She is originally from Australia and was in the Australian Army during WWII.  All of them have such great stories to tell and we had so much fun!  There's a Sadie Hawkins dance at the end of the month that we have been invited back for.

I know it's not easy for everyone to spend time listening to or talking with people in their 80's, 90’s & 100's.  But I recommend trying it.  It's important to take a deep breath and relax as you enter a conversation that might seem crazy or inaccurate or maybe long and rambling.  But if you just let them talk about what's on their mind, it will bless both of you - you will not regret just being present with someone who needs to be heard, loved and valued.  It's good for your heart.❤️