Strength for Today, Hope for Tomorrow

Sometimes the random nature of MS is confusing and upsetting to those I share this life with.

Yesterday was supposed to be a day when I had more energy because it was a day I took the medication that is SUPPOSED TO help improve my energy and focus. And the day started out great, actually.

There is no easy way to explain how my energy took a nose dive at around 9am. But I had to take a nap at 9:30am! Simple tasks like getting dressed are harder for me but on a day where I’ve taken my “pep pill” and had already downed a cup of coffee, I shouldn’t need a nap at 9:30am!

I took a shower after my nap. Showers for me are a glorious experience! I am always cold so a nice hot shower makes almost everything better. On some days a nice hot shower can give me an energy boost as well. But on other days the effort of taking a shower (and all the getting undressed and dressed again) take all the strength I can muster and then I’m too tired for much of anything else. Yesterday was one of those energy drain days.

These days cause my husband no end of grief. My doctor once had me taking extra caffeine pills to help boost my energy and at the time she told me that the reason I was able to drink a Coke or coffee at night and still sleep soundly was that my fatigue is stronger than caffeine. Apparently, my fatigue is also sometimes stronger than my prescription “pep pills” (as I call them).

There are multiple things going on inside me that can contribute to my fatigue. One is that I have MS which strips the coating on the “wires” in my brain that send signals throughout my body. This causes short circuits and slow signals and makes my brain work extra hard to do everything.

Another factor is that I am 53 years old and in the beginning stages of menopause which is a challenging stage in the life of a woman where hormones become unstable and so do we!😂 Multiple Sclerosis symptoms worsen during menopause and there just isn’t a whole lot that can be done about it.

In addition, the last few days I have been experiencing a new and bizarre sensation that starts in the neighborhood of my left armpit. It’s almost like an internal spasm but it doesn’t hurt. It shoots throughout the entire left side of my body and then I feel a cold sensation spreading through my body. It only happens once or twice in a day and it only lasts a few seconds. But I don’t like the feeling and I don’t know what it is so it scares me a little.

Thankfully, today was a much better day. I had the energy for grocery shopping and even had left over energy! Of course, my husband wasn’t home today to experience my energy. He often sees me on my lowest energy days. And it is really difficult for him not to feel a little hurt that I have energy on days when he isn’t home but often have no energy when he is home.

There is a hymn that I have had running through my brain the last couple of days. The specific verse and then the chorus go like this:

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide

Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside

Great is Thy faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness

Morning by morning new mercies I see

All I have needed Thy hands hath provided

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me

I love that hymn!

In any case, like I said, today was a good day for me and I didn’t experience the weird spasm thing today either!

My daughter is taking an anatomy class and today they were talking medical terminology. They learned about the meanings of some root words. She came home and told me that “Scler” means “tough” and “osis” means “disease” so “multiple sclerosis” is “multiple tough disease.” Then she said she is going to tell all her friends that her Mom has multiple tough disease! Then she asked me if I knew what GenZ means when they say “Tuff.” 🤣

I made this meme about it - my daughter thinks it’s “cringe” but I don’t care…🤣

I thank the Lord for the strength He gave me today and for the hope I have for tomorrow.