Consequences

I grew up in a loving, Christian home. I was raised in a solid non-denominational church which we attended without fail every service or activity offered - I even went with my Mom when they offered an aerobics class! I went to a Christian school from preschool through 12th grade. My parents never drank (there was no alcohol allowed in our home - initially because my grandfather (my Mom’s Dad) was an alcoholic). My parents didn’t smoke, didn’t do drugs and never used profanity. We only listened to Christian radio stations or classical records/tapes or maybe some 50’s music and my parents screened movies before we watched them. I was sheltered from the world and I was blessed!

But I didn’t recognize this shelter as a blessing. I felt that I needed to get out from under this shelter and experience the world to mature. My parents understood something I didn’t grasp as a naive, but over-confident teen. I thought THEY were the naive ones and I wanted to prove that I could handle myself and maintain my faith in Christ even out there in the world.

My parents knew me better than I knew myself and they would not allow me to attend a public university. They didn’t want to lose me to the world so I attended a Christian college. Unfortunately, there are worldly influences everywhere you go. I lived on campus and made friends with people who were not horrible people but certainly weren’t living godly lives.

One such “friend” didn’t even attend that college but was a childhood friend of one of the girls I had befriended that DID attend the school. I couldn’t wait to get on with adulthood- I had no direction in college and felt I was wasting my time and my parents’ money. So I left college after only a year and moved back home.

I spent the summer looking for work but the job market was horrible, I had no experience or college degree and I was discouraged. I was presented with an opportunity to move in with a mentally compromised woman who needed someone to be with her primarily at night because she suffered from paranoia. Rent was included so I jumped on the opportunity to move out of my parents’ house and headlong into independence. I also thought the move would help motivate me to look harder for a job.

I finally found a job working as a receptionist. I actually got that first “real” job because my Dad helped me get into a job seekers network at our church and, at a seminar there, a representative from a job placement agency spoke to our group and gave us job hunting tips. He was a Christian recruiting Christians to help place them in to the workforce. I spoke with him afterwards and got signed up with his agency. He was also friends with the woman who ultimately hired me (because he told her I was a Christian) despite the fact I lacked experience.

The woman I lived with ultimately had a psychotic episode that required more care so I needed to move. A woman I worked with was looking for a roommate- she was a single mother of a teenage boy. I agreed to move in with her. Not the best decision, I have to admit. I turned 21 while living with this woman and her son. I had maintained contact with the people I met in college and the “friend” I mentioned above took me to my first dance club. I had stopped going to church and my Dad would ask me about my church attendance every time I visited my parents. I blew him off and assured him God was still important to me. He was right to be concerned but I was an adult now so I didn’t feel I needed to listen to my parents anymore.

Once I went clubbing I found I really enjoyed it. I liked the loud music and it was great exercise. I tried to be responsible about it though - my friend would drink and I was the designated driver. I never gave my phone number out and never danced to the slow songs. I drank only soda (Coke) or water and developed good relationships with the bouncers and bartenders who would look out for me and help ensure my safety. We would go only on Ladies’ Nights so we didn’t have to pay anything to get in - but every dance club had a different Ladies’ night so we would go clubbing multiple times each week. Being the designated driver, I got most of my drinks (soda/Coke) for free. But it was an unhealthy lifestyle in every respect and I ended up getting strep throat, followed 6 months later by mononucleosis (Mono). After a year or so of clubbing, I called it quits.

At this point, I had moved in with my college “friend” who had been raised catholic but who was obviously not a practicing catholic. We had many discussions about faith as she also considered herself a Christian. I had a horrible testimony because I was participating in this worldly lifestyle with her. While living with her I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit and began reading my Bible again. I found a solid church to attend and even invited some of my new church friends over to our apartment for a Christmas in July party. My roommate met all of my new church friends but she had gotten involved with some guys from Saudi Arabia. She dated several of them, learned all about their culture, learned to cook their foods, learned to speak Arabic, etc. Ultimately she converted to Islam and agreed to an arranged marriage which is when we parted ways and I moved in to an apartment alone.

I got very involved in my new church which happens to be the church I attend to this day - where I met my husband and where we raised our children.

And now to the consequences part of my story. As it turns out, they have now proven a link between several viruses, including the Epstein-Barr virus (the virus that cause’s mononucleosis) and Multiple Sclerosis.

[Scientists have long suspected — but failed to prove — a link between certain viral infections and the development of multiple sclerosis, a crippling autoimmune disease that affects nearly 1 million Americans. Now, a study led by Stanford Medicine researchers has proved that the Epstein-Barr virus, triggers multiple sclerosis by priming the immune system to attack the body's own nervous system.]

So, had I not been going out clubbing 3 or 4 nights a week (before the no-smoking in public areas laws were a thing) - getting very little sleep, very little nutrition and still working a full time job, my immune system wouldn’t have been compromised and I would likely not have even been exposed to the Epstein Barr virus. It is entirely possible I would not have ever triggered multiple sclerosis and, thus, I can state with a fair amount of confidence that a year of clubbing- and away from the Lord - caused me to develop multiple sclerosis. It is a consequence of my sinful behavior that I must live with for the rest of my life.

I 100% still believe God allowed me to develop multiple sclerosis to protect me from something much worse and to draw me closer to Him. I believe He continues to use multiple sclerosis in my life as a blessing to me - and to others. But it is also the tool He is using to punish me for disobedience in my early 20’s. It has been a blessing AND a curse and to try to fool myself into thinking it was allowed into my life only to be a blessing would be a mistake and I would miss out on the lesson I am supposed to learn about how God expects me to live my life and how horribly I had botched it!

So, my life with MS is a cautionary tale that I hope will prevent someone from making the same mistakes I did. And in the end, at the true heart of it, the lesson I want my children to learn from my story and that is hardest to swallow in some ways is: I should have listened to my parents.😉