Wherever I Go, I’m Still Me

I have been to a lot of churches in my lifetime. I’ve spent more time at some than at others. There have been various reasons for staying at - or leaving a given church but a lot of the time I left a church only because I moved away. For instance, I moved from my home in Kirkland to Seattle when I left for college so I left one church and found a church closer to my new home. After I got married, we lived in Pennsylvania for about a year where we attended yet another church. We attended churches in New Mexico and Arizona as well before we found ourselves back in Seattle and back at the church where we met. For a long time I maintained friendships with people from almost every church I have attended - because we are all believers with a bond of love that couldn’t be broken by miles. Most of those believers have since passed away - so we lost contact… for now anyway.😉

When churches were shut down for COVID, we watched Charles Stanley and others on TV each Sunday morning. That was a rough time for everyone but one of the most painfully revealing experiences we had was the almost complete and total radio silence from our church. My husband grew up in that church and we met there, raised our children there up to that point and no one reached out to us in any meaningful way during that difficult season. So, when churches opened back up again, we decided maybe it was time to look for a different church. We visited several and finally settled on another church where we were able to get involved and met some really great people. During that time, the Lord was really working in our hearts. No one from our home church reached out to check in with us - there was no indication that our absence had even been noticed. Our names and contact information were removed from the church directory and were added to the directory at our new church. However, thankfully, my email address remained on the prayer chain list at our home church and I sent cards to friends whose names were circulated for prayer - because they were still our brothers and sisters in Christ and that didn't change just because we were attending a different church. My husband and I felt it was time to return to our former (home) church after 2 or maybe it was 3 years of absence. When we decided to return, and while considering the reasons we had left in the first place, I realized that we were part of the problem too! While we bemoaned the fact that no one had checked in with us during the lockdowns, we hadn’t tried to reach out and encourage anyone either. I realize now that this has become a huge part of the problem in (specifically American) churches today - we are too focused on our own suffering to reach out and comfort or encourage others so we go to church but are increasingly isolated from each other. I committed to do my best to reach out and encourage others as we integrated back with our home church while staying in touch with the new friends I had developed while we were away.

We had met some amazing and lovely people at the church we attended during those 2 years of absence from our home church and I have done my best to stay connected with several of them. It has been 2 years now since we returned to our church and the friends I made at the other church have largely stopped responding to my texts. Only 2 people I met during that season have remained in touch. Both also left the church because they moved away - one to the Eastern part of our state and one to Missouri. Why? I’m still me regardless of my location. Was I looked down upon because we had left and gone back to our old church? Was I no longer part of the “club?”

It’s a sad commentary on our churches today that we don’t seem to value relationships with other believers enough to stay in contact when we aren’t physically meeting together each week. People need to know that they are valued. People visit around to various churches looking for a place they can feel loved and valued. But often I think we feel betrayed as a group when someone chooses to attend elsewhere. Our feelings are hurt. And we don’t show that Christian kindness, love and forgiveness we are supposed to be known for.

I am the same person whether I attend my current church or another church. If I am valued, my location doesn’t matter. My dear friend in New Mexico values me even though she hasn’t physically seen me in 25 years or more and I greatly value her. My friend in Missouri values me even though she lives 2 time zones away and I greatly value her. I remain in contact with believers who are missionaries in Ecuador, Poland and Peru and I value them and am so encouraged by their tremendous faith and obedience to the call of the Holy Spirit to spread the gospel. I remain in contact with believers who visited our church for a short time but who now attend elsewhere for one reason or another. I remain in contact with a believer I met in the grocery store. I remain in contact with a member of the Steward’s Foundation board who visited our church last year. I maintain connections with several of my aunts and cousins who are also believers but who live in different parts of the country. I still check in with former neighbors, with members of our church who are elderly and housebound. All of these people need encouragement from time to time and, in some cases, I am the only one in a position to provide it. But it shouldn’t be that way! I should be one voice in a crowd of believers climbing over each other to show love toward those in need of encouragement.

There is a little song I learned in Sunday School that says “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” We don’t live like we value every believer and the gifts they bring to the body of Christ.

The fact is that where (or whether) we go to church shouldn’t really matter as long as we have Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior! Believers are a part of the Church at large and we should be taking a little time here and there to check in with one another. It doesn’t take much time to send a quick text to say “Praying for you today, anything special I should mention?” Or “Thinking about you today, how are you doing?” Or if you notice someone is missing from church on a Sunday, check in and let them know that they were missed - that someone noticed their absence. A little gesture goes a long way!

The Church is the bride of Christ and we are commanded to love one another as Christ loves the Church. But we aren’t doing that! Our busy lives and our enormous egos get in the way of living out this testimony. We are FAILING each other and, therefore, we are failing God.

We need to remember that we belong to Jesus - our lives are not our own. We are watched and we are known by the fruit we bear. Do we love? Do we encourage? Do we comfort? Do we CARE?

People have the same needs regardless of where they are. We all need to know that we matter to someone. God shows His love toward His people THROUGH His people. When we withhold His love it is sin. When we ignore the prompting of the Spirit, it is sin. I, for one, feel regret and remorse over the fact that I have failed God in these ways and did for a number of years until I felt the heavy burden of that guilt and decided to DO something about it. How about you?