We have a friend who is 98 years old. He can’t make it to church and he is really too frail to do much of anything except sit on the couch at his daughter’s house (where he now lives) all day and think about the past. He is bored. So, once a month I load the kids up to go visit him and give him a little change of routine. I also write letters to him so he has something to read when he is REALLY bored. 😉. We visited him this past week and, as always, we left encouraged and uplifted by our friend and we immediately started making plans to visit again next month.
When I mention at church that we have visited our favorite 98 year old or that we have plans to visit him, I often hear the same response - “Oh, I have been wanting to visit him!” Or “I have been meaning to visit him!” And yet, month by month we end up being the only visitors he has had. I have kept myself from responding with “Well, what are you waiting for? He’s not getting any younger!”
But our friend decided this morning that he wasn’t going to wait any longer for people to come to visit him. His son brought him to church today!! We were in shock but overjoyed!! My son saw him first and ran excitedly to tell his sister who followed him to his seat to talk with him. My son also came to find me to share the happy news! He was very popular because there were a number of people who had “meant to” visit him and now they had a convenient opportunity to check in and let him know they care. It was energizing for our church and encouraging to our friend.
I think that people often avoid visiting the elderly because they don’t know what to talk about - they don’t know how to relate to them and they are frankly afraid to try.
When my Dad had Parkinson’s and dementia, I was very aware that he couldn’t communicate with me the way he used to. In the end, he couldn’t communicate at all. But I visited him at least once, often twice, every week with and without my kids. My children were SO sweet and loving toward, not only my Dad, but the other residents at the memory care facility where he lived. He was the same person on the inside but he had lost the ability to outwardly express himself. I visited and visited and visited because we all needed these visits and because I knew our time was short.
Our time here on earth is short. We need to make sure we don’t neglect to encourage each other - especially those who can’t reach out on their own.
Our 98 year old friend called me once after receiving one of my letters - before we had started our monthly visits. He said “Come visit me! Come visit me! But if you don’t, I understand, because I didn’t visit people either when I could’ve.” Now that he can’t just get in the car and drive to church or a friend’s house, he recognizes the value and has regrets. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and have regrets about the way I treated my friends and family - even if I never get visitors myself.
I have started to notice who is missing on Sunday mornings and I send texts or emails to check in to let them know they were missed and to see if there is anything I can pray for. This afternoon I found out that 3 missing families are traveling so I can pray for their safety. I am already praying for 2 other families who I knew were going to be gone because they are out of the country visiting family. I also found out that one man was missing because he has pain in his teeth that kept him awake last night (he will try to get in to see a dentist this week) and a girl who was missing got up too late to come because she has a health issue that would be aggravated by the stress of rushing to get ready for church. These are things I can pray about - things I would not know if I hadn't reached out to ask.
I say all of this because I want to urge you not to wait to reach out and encourage someone who the Lord puts on your heart. The Spirit will nag you relentlessly for awhile but if you ignore Him long enough, His voice will go silent. Don’t quench the Spirit! Don’t wait to be an encouragement! Carpe Diem (Seize the Day)! You aren’t getting any younger either…
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